When I'm worried about the condition of the bike trail I usually drive along the road that borders the trail and look to see if there is any standing water covering the asphalt bike path. Driving past I thought I saw some water on a low part near the Meramec River closer to the parking lot that sits in the middle of the three legs of the Meramec Greenway (actually just deep shadows). So I drove to the parking lot at the end of the leg of the Greenway that reminds me of Ft. Riley. Park DEERSLAYER. There is pocket fuzz in the headphone jack slot on my phone so I don't get to listen to my play list as I bike. Sad face. Put air in RAMBLER'S tires, cock my pork pie at a jaunty angle and awaaaay we go! Today could be really hot, but all the rainy weather just has it overcast and at a really nice temperature in the 70's. I haven't exercised in a while so I take it easy and I do not break any land speed records (hence the name of my bike). I bike along carefully making sure that I don't slip on the dried mud that the City of Valley Park has scrapped off of the trail.
::STANDING OVATION FOR THE CITY OF VALLEY PARK::
Toodle Toodle Toodle Toddle Toddle Toddle As I approach the part of the bike path near the Veteran's Club I notice a deer standing in the middle of the bike path. Hello MR. Deer. RingRingRingRingRing my bike bell. MR. Deer doesn't move. HonkHonkHonkHonkHonk my tank horn. MR. Deer doesn't move. RingRingRingRingRing my bike bell. MR. Deer doesn't move. Grinning I shout "Counting Coup!"* and I stand up on my pedals and rush at the stationary deer. As I barrel towards the deer standing in the middle of the bike path, MRS. Deer jumps into the deeper woods between the bike path and Meramec River. Her FAWN (that I did NOT notice) runs through the shallower woods between the bike path and the road. I'm an idiot. I lose sight of the baby deer as it clears the woods and approaches the road that runs parallel to the bike trail. HonkHonk from one car. HONKHONKHONK from another car. I cringe. No screeching brakes. No pitiful cry from a dying FAWN. I'm still worried though. I continue along feeling like I'm lower than the underside of my tennis shoe. I make it all the way to the parking lot in the middle of the three legs of the Meramec Greenway trails without having to cross vast plains of wet mud or cross questionable spans of water covering the trail. YAY! Feeling pretty good for not having biked in quite a while I turn and cross the road and head out on the Simpson's Lake section of the Greenway. It's a beautiful day for a bike ride. With only a minor slowing of the pedaling while climbing the slight rise along Simpson Lake I reach the boat ramp, turn around and head back. Cross the road and turn left back down my favorite part of the bike ride. In a part of the trail covered by trees I notice a five-lined ground squirrel scampering across the trail. Scamper-Scamper-Scamper. Look at me, I'm a chipmunk and I don't notice 6'2" 255lb men on cruiser bicycles riding towards me! THE VOICE OF GOD says "Hello Chippy!" Chipmunks freak out when you talk to them when you are less than 3 feet away and they aren't paying attention. Chippy panics and runs into the weeds next to the bike path, changes his mind and runs back onto the bike trail, re-panics as he realizes that he is right next to a large FAST predator, tries to outrun the predator, re-re-panics as he realizes he cannot outrun the large FAST predator, and darts back into the weeds next to the Greenway bike trail. I am batting 1000 today. David: 3. Innocent animals: 0. As I near the end of my ride I pass a couple walking the trail and the girl says, "Nice Hat". Cock my pork pie at a jaunty angle. Yes, yes it is...
Post Script: I checked to make sure the FAWN didn't get hit by a car. No dead baby deer.
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Counting_coup
